Making up is always nice.

Hotel at night:

3 words: Sex, Cannabalism and Revenge
One conclusion: weird.

This is way way way surreal than leaving las vegas (same director Mike Figgis).
An interesting plot presented in not one but 2/3/4 frames at times.
The editing was great though could at times be confusing for the audience.
But honestly that is part of the fun and charm of this weird feature film.
What i originally thought was an infra-red camera (but later SO corrected me. it is a sony DV inbuilt thingy that can shot in very low light settings), gave a really creepy green glow to the characters (everything black turns out white, including the eyeballs) in specific situations that highlighted the tension and mystery of the story.
The "dogma" movie within the movie (i.e. the duchess of mulfi) was already interesting on its own (i would have love to watch it), though david schwimmer will always look and behave like "ross" from "friends".
The sex bits were titillating and well shot. I imagined the few old men in the cinema got their 8bux worth.
On the whole, it was nicely and interestingly put together.
I bet everyone who is interested in making films would want to go out and get themselves a DVcam after this.

Overall, an entertaining bizzare piece of surrealistic movie.
I definitely enjoyed this cannabalistic buffet more than "seafood".

Annecy animation in the morning:

An entertaining collection of international animations from canada, mexico, uk, italy and french (i think 2/3 are in french).
Some of the bits i liked
1) a man who woke up as a woman and lived with it for 10 years before turning back to a man on her/his wedding (to a man), in "geraldine"
2) an artful "father and daughter" that was very poignant and had a great lyrical soundtrack
3) pokemon-manga inspired "AP2001". Think pokemom + fleas + gundam rolled up into a poodle furball. Hilarious.
4) "Comics trip" that put computer animated feature like jimmy neutron to shame for its wonderful editing and use of "space"
5) An oddly depressing "The boy who saw the iceberg" which had split frames deplicting reality and fantasy.
6) A "cool nestea" commercial (the only commercial in the collection) that literally tickled the bones.

An interesting and informative telephone call.
My thoughts are flying wild.

Overheard:

"An intelligent woman is one that doesn't make a man feel stupid."

hmmm.....

When i don't ask, it doesn't mean i doesn't know.
Sometimes, i just want to prevent you from having to speak another lie.
When i do ask, it doesn't mean i need to know.
Sometimes, i just want to feel if your heart is wholly mine.

It is amazing what low expectations can do to the enjoyment value of a film.
Scorpian king was hilarious.
I giggled myself silly from beginning to end.
It is good to watch something not too serious once in a while.
I must admit i am one of those that will indulge in stephen chow periodically too.
(Lets not be too dogmatic about certain things shall we?)
And it doesn't hurt to have like-minded friends who are not too "high-browed" to enjoy a silly movie,
followed by a lighthearted supper at Lao Pa Sat together.

Now, that's what i call a nice saturday night.

Met a new friend today.
Quite interesting but he is trifle bit opinionated (not necessary a bad thing) but somehow, it all lacks substance somehow (his opinions i mean).
For example, how can you say something is bad when you have never seen it or even compare with something else?
It is like saying apples are better than oranges when you have never tasted an orange in your whole life.
Sure, everyone will always have opinions which are subjective but if you intend to pass them off as critical analysis for debate, you have well be more informed about the topic right?
Frankly, i think for someone who proclaims to have an interest in film, he seems to be too narrow focused and unexposed to alot of things to offer any sort of critical analysis.

Hmm...

I wonder if the older you are, the more tolerant you should be.
I think i am giving out more chances than i would have when i am younger when i hardly look back at the decisions i made and stand by whatever i said.
No time for regrets or should i say, no worries about regrets because i am young and free.
So do older people let their standards dip as they grow older because... well.. because they are no longer young and no longer have as many chances as before?
I find myself worrying that i may regret any rash decisions i make and hence, become less decisive and perhaps, more "tolerant" of things i would never have been.
I think that is what it is, i am worried about having regrets.

I am not too sure if that is a good thing at all.

I really hate people lying to me.
Especially so when i am right infront of them when they do it.

I just realized.

Its strike two.

My cat must be feeling lethargic.
Sort of like me.

I saw a hint of a smile in the sky tonight.

Seafood tonight.

The start was rather promising but tapered towards 3/4 of the show. The dark humour was interesting, especially coming from a China film-maker, but the ending seems disjointed from the built-up infront and almost like a separate story. At first i thought it might be delibrate, knowing how "chim" some artist like to be. But when questioned, i feel the filmmaker was a trifle bit unsure. (either that or he did not understand the nature of the question). Being a first time filmmaker (but has written several novels), i feel the story was not "tight" enough and metaphor of the "seafood" is too vague (and practically non-existent towards the end), he might have better developed his ideas in his novels than a 2 hour film.

I say, when people lie to me, do they think that i am an idiot (i.e. can't handle the truth) or just plain stupid (i.e. cant tell when people are lying)?

I would think stupid.

Came home just now and found the porceline bell in the shape of a woman lying broken on the floor, the culprit meowing piteously at a corner when i opened the door. It was a gift from the SO which he brought back from Spain a couple of years ago and it is very dear to me. The SO always brings back a little something for me whenever he travels and it is dearer now because he seldom have to chance to travel these days. I guess my feelings got the better of me and i gave ruski a sound smacking which sent him scurrying under the couch before i remembered that he is just a cat. I am still very angry and upset however, more of myself now, for not putting it on a higher shelf. Even though it was on the second shelf, i should have known that ruski can jump onto the first shelf and try to paw anything on the second. There is an awful sinking feeling in my stomach. Now ruski is trying to pacify me in someways by jumping on my lap (which he has a habit of doing so whenever i am angry with him) but i am still too upset and dropped him back on the bed.

Think i will go buy some silicon glue to try fix it back together again.

Snow asked me what does Aurorin mean. That came as a surprise since its been a long time since anyone last asked me that.
Instead of going into the whole "mythological-influenced" story, it will suffice to say that this name is original (as in i thought it up myself) and i love it so much that i will probably name my daughter aurorin (or aury for short).

Besides, i happen to think it sounds nice. :D

Mutant Aliens last night.

Pretty hilarious.
Watched his other shorts before and though this is a trifle bit too long, i thought it was pretty enjoyable on the whole.
I have forgotten how "pornographic" Bill Plympton can be. But one shouldnt take such things seriously. I doubt anyone's sensibilities have been offended. Mine certainly wasn't. I was too busy laughing i think.

Met with gpa and alan before the show. Thanks to dave for the dvd again. Also saw some familiar faces, especial from NJ which SO neglected to introduced. *smirks*
Another typical Alice-absentmindedness at play. Ordered a drink+popcorn combo and when it came, realized that i have ran out of cash. Had to sheepishly asked the cashier to hang on to the stuff while i rush to the ATM to draw out some money. Vaguely remembered that cash is in the OTHER wallet, which is of course, in the OTHER bag. Don't ask me why do i have so many bags and wallets, i just do.

You know how sometimes you see someone and they look strangely familiar but you just cant place them? Saw one of those at the atm, strangely enough, the feeling was mutual. You know it when the feeling is mutual. There is the universal look of "where have i seen you before". I was about to ignore it when he asked if i was from NTU. Which i wasn't. We both rattled off a few possibilities.
"irc?" - he looked blank
"friend of jason lim?" - i looked blank
"i am from biathalon." - Well, i was at a charity triathalon once. But no, not biathalons.
"hmmmm...."

In the end we both gave up and attributed it to the probability that we must have met at one too many film fest or similar events. When i was on my way back to pay the ransom for the popcorn hostages, i realized that i should have just asked him for his name. Somehow my instincts told me that i probably knew him from further back, i just can't remember where. I have a sneaky feeling it is back in JC or Sec school even. Oh well. Will remind myself to get that chap's name next time. SO think it is probably from one of those art events we frequent since Jason Lim is one of the artist he knows.

Little Otik this morning.

Much like "Alice" in his treatment, which blended surrealism, fairy tales and transcribing it into the modern mundane world. But this is way too commercialized, made for the general public, hence losing much of the surrealism that is so typically svankmajer in his other earlier works. Still, an interesting animation and one of his longest one to date (125mins).

Yesterday watched Japanese Devils, a documentary that interviewed 14 japanese army veterans who confessed to the atrocities they committed during WWII. The events they talked about was put in chronological order, treatment was quite matter-of-factly. It was chilling sitting there and listening to a bunch of old men describing in vivid details what they had done. Personally, it was difficult to be totally non-judgemental after hearing from them. Everyone had a reason on why they did what they did. Under orders, to fit in, peer pressure and personal beliefs that the emperor is god. As they were talking, it was quite apparent to me that there was always this moment in time when they hesitated (no matter how shortly) before crossing the line from being a human to something so cruel yet only a human is capable of. Each time, when the interview reached this moment, i held my breath wishing that perhaps this old man had not crossed the line, perhaps he turned an eye over the old people, the children, the woman he just raped instead of killing them and burning them down. But then, this is war and it is real. This is not a movie. It is not easy to view it objectively and say that these 14 interviewees are victims of war as well. Not when everyone had a chance to look the other way when their superiors or peers are not around and yet did not, and committed all manner of cruelty you can think of.

I don't think the documentary is to make to make victims out of them. It was a good documentary that look at the facts objectively instead of denying it, especially since it was made by the japanese. I guess it is only my own fault that i cannot get beyond my own subjective and personal feelings about it.

I destroyed something today almost accidentally.
Knowing the risk but wasn't too sure and still went ahead with it anyway.
Perhaps its all for the best.

Quote i found on The Far Side:

"Tragedy is when i cut my finger.
Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die." - Mel Brooks

My loot for today from borders:

1) Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll - a hard cover book with original illustrations by John Tenniel

2) The Illustrated Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales - illustrated by Arthur Rackham, an early 20th century illustrator who produced some wonderful black and white drawings/engravings

3) The Prehistory of The Far Side - A 10th Anniversary Exhibit by Gary Larson, which include artist's footnotes and scribblings

4) The Golden Age of Children's Book Illustration - filled with marvallous plates and black/white drawings of famous children book illustrators from the 1860s to 1930s and their biographies.

I am truly happy. I have always wanted Alice in Wonderland, partly for the story but mainly for the illustrations. And the book of children's book illustration is a real great find. Brothers Grimm because of the familiar stories and more so for those i have not read before (almost hard to imagine i could have not known some of their stories being such a prolific fairy tales reader when i was young), as well as the wonderful illustrations. As for the Far Side, i have always been tickled by Gary Larson's sense of humour. The process by which he derives his inspiration (ie his footnotes and scribblings/sketches) were an added bonus.

Yap, it was a good evening.

Just came back from friend's birthday celebration.
Had two nice bottles of white wine with some nice selection of cheeses.
A little tipsy, but boy do i feel good.

I am quite quite hooked on spore cubes...

Right place right time.
Wrong place wrong time.
Right place wrong time.
Wrong place right time.

Win
Lose
Break even

Went wakeboarding yesterday.
Was really tiring and now my whole body is aching.

My cat needs a bath.
Its been two weeks.

Realization no. 37:

There are some days i feel like i know less than what people think i know.

Work is getting more hectic by the minute.
Case conference looming around the corner and all that training still going on as well.
At times i almost panicked.
Whatmore, we have to worry about PES(t) too.
It is this silly bureaucratic thing which requires us to calculate the hours and measure the success rate of our student.
For example, input = hours and output = % of goals
And output have to be above 50% to be consider success.

I can fully understand the rational.
There is a need for VWOs to be accountable after all we do depend on charity.
That is, your money, my money... everyone's money. The goodness of singaporeans.
And it would nice to keep track of how many kids benefit from our services.
But really, i would find it less of a drag doing these calculations if the people of formulated it actually think it through about how applicable it is to us on the whole.
For example, it is IMPOSSIBLE to put every thing down in to measurable quantifiable statistics.
And more often than not, kids with special needs take a long while to achieve any semblence of success.
Does that mean we should give up on them? That VWOs dont need the money to run the program if we are not churning out enough "successes"?
I really pity the teachers as they are the one who have to compile the data for the therapists at the end of the day. On top of all the work they already have to do.
Lowly paid and stressful job and now more adminstration.
No wonder the turnover rate for teachers are so high.
I wish those people who actually formulate policies that ultimately will have a huge impact on those people who does the ground work, will come to and spend a week with us AT LEAST.
Before coming up with some more of these "admin" forms to fill and actually come up with something applicable and useful for once.

You know what babes?
The only solution seems to be that next time i go on holiday, you should come along!
Hey, then since you are going to Spain, you should bring me!
Pack me into your luggage and smuggle me!

*hugz*
I am flattered that you people think of me as your good friend.
It makes me feel like my life is worth something
cos' i mean something to some of you.
If i were to die tomorrow, at least i know who will miss me. :)

Anyway babes, always feel free to call.
No matter where, when, i will try my darnest to be there.
That goes the same for you snowie dear.
This i can promise you gals.

From one cat lover to the another.
Snow dear, i share your pain and your loss for mimi.
I know how much you loved her.
I cannot imagine if the same thing were to happen to Ruski.
And i only had him for a year while mimi had been with you for so long.
I still remember her whenever i visit last time, back in Uni.
She was beautiful and such a character.
She picks her owner and she made the right choice.
I couldnt think of anyone else who could have given her such a caring home for the past 8 years.
I am sorry that other people could not have been kinder, more humane.
It was a needless loss.
*hugz* I am sorry i couldnt be here for you...
Please cheer up dear...

Was at Tioman for the last 3 days.
Went with quite low expectations since i wanted to go to bintan originally.
Beside, the resort didn't look that impressive in the first place.
It turned out to be really good.
We had our own private little condo like place with 2 bedrooms, a living room, some kitchenette, bathroom, and balcony facing the sea.
Though a little far from the rest of the spawling resort, there was a pretty efficient shuttle service to the main resort.
Snorkelling was great. Better than rawa last year as there were more selections of places to snorkel.
From the shallow reefs to deep underwater outcrop of rocks encrusted with corals and the many different variety of marine life.
Waters alternate between azure blue and emerald green.
Its crystal clear. I could see almost 20feet down without problems.
Quite alot of varied entertainment at the resort too.
KTV, night fishing, pool, disco, lounging at the beach bar, walking down the beach looking at a night sky full of stars.
The only problem is the long journey to and fro. Simply too exhausting.
2 1/2 hours coach to Mersing, 3 hours ferry to Tioman.
Next time i am going to take the direct ferry.

Watched The Time Machine today.
Was a major disappointment of a book adaptation.
I think i rather watch I not Stupid again.

Guy Pearce was not believable as prof alexander. Perhaps it was a miscasting.
Casting of the film was bad.
Jeremy Irons was a hoot being in the film for a mere 15minutes.
H.G Wells would roll in his grave.

On a more positive note,
the machine does look more or less like how i imagined it to be.
All the right materials and style for the era, except maybe for the perspex like material for the shield-like device. Or was it glass?

I must have a terrible memory.
I frequently forget things that i have in my hand.
And i almost never can remember if i have locked my car doors.
8 out of 10 times it would have been locked, but i would still not be sure.
Someone has hypothesized that it could be due to the fact that i don't remember things that are of no value to me.

However, my theory is i have a terrible short term memory.
I can remember things happening way back in the past.
Even down to the smallest details.
Trivia answers to obscure questions.
The telephone number of my house in malaysia where i lived when i was 6.

Perhaps i am just careless.
But would a careless person be so aware of being forgetful
that she will ask herself if the car door was lock barely 10 step away from the car?
Friends are getting used to me running back for the car each time.
Thing is, while mental pictures pop up readily in my head from my long term store in the brain,
i just cannot picture what had happened 10 seconds before for SOME things.
No matter how hard i try, the best i could do is constantly remind myself to check if i was holding my wallet/phone/pouch or to check if the door is locked, 10 seconds after.

A sense of deja vu is opening my bag to take out my money pouch to pay for movie tickets and realizing that it is not there.

There is a certain kick of looking for yourself in a haystack.
I went to yahoo.com and did a search for aurorin.
Wow. There is me, in various form.
And how surprising it was to find some of the things i was associated with right there, where i had forgotten it.

For example...

I guess i was young once too. So young that it is almost embarrasing now to look back at it.
Well... Almost. :)

A sense of deja vu?

A sense of deja vu

Silly me. I forgot my wallet (aka card holder) today and only realized it just when i was about to pay for sushi.
For all that knows me, my card holder is where i slash my cash and i have a sort of miscellanous pouch for all other purposes (e.g. coins, keys, clips, fone etc). The pouch is always in my carrier bag but for some reason today, i neglected to bring out my all important card holder with all my cash and atm card, visa etc. Luckily for me, yesterday a couple of friends returned me some money for some movie tickets which i dumped into the pouch for convenience and this morning the school clerk gave me back around 20bux of petty cash for some stuff i bought for school. So when i bought the movie ticket and the book ($5), i took from the pouch since it had these spare change. When i finished my sushi dinner, and was digging through my bag for my card holder for my atm card, i realized all the money i had on me is all in the pouch. Thankfully, after the movie tix and book i still managed to have around 20 odd dollars. I was frantically praying that it would be enough for dinner as i hoped i did not have to call any friend to bail me out of an embarrasing situation (either that i would have to wash plates) just 10 minutes before my movie. Thanking my lucky stars, what i had was just about enough for the dinner (with 2 bux left over for the parking tix later).

I was thanking my lucky stars (all 7 of them) when i was stepping into the theater when i suddenly remembered: Emergency Cash. As a policy, i have always "hidden" some money away in some corner of the bag for emergency. And lo and behold, there was a 50 dollar note tuck safely in a little pocket in my bag. Man, that really reaffirms my habit of emergency cash. Certainly horrible to be stranded outside with no money and had to call for help. Now, if only i can remember i had some cash slashed away when i have an emergency.

Alright, another day where i just took off to catch a movie alone. I think i should have this regularly. My own movie alone day. But sad to say, it is really just an excuse to have sushi on my own. In any case, it was fun. Bought a discounted book from book fair *gasp* but the first 10 pages did not bore me so i am quite optimistic. It is Derek Jarman's Smiling In Slow Motion. A collection of diaries written by a gay artist cum film maker. I have not heard of him nor was there any introduction prologue in the book. I gleaned as much from browsing. He has a certain caustic tone common to sharp witted brit or perhaps i am just prejudice, artist, which made reading interesting. But certain phrases caught my eye. And for a moment i wish i could write like that. A certain flair for words.

The movie. Ah. Caught I Not Stupid. I once declared, i can't remember to who, that i would not watch that movie. Looks like i am eating my words now. Remind me not to make big declarations next time. In any case, it was everything i imagined it to be and then some. In short, a storyline woven to fit in as much social critique as Jack Neo could managed. It is, how should i say it, subtly obvious. If there is an oxymoron, this would be it. I can't decide if he is trying to be clever by creating such subtle metaphors (i.e. all white mom = PAP) or was all along trying to be obvious. In the end, it was a collection of pretty smart remarks that is totally in synch with the rest of Singapore. It is difficult not to be charmed by such a movie because it is declaring in bold cinematic style, what everyone (well almost everyone) in everyday singapore is thinking. Very Jack Neo indeed. To give him credit, it is much better than his past movies like Money No Enough, very singaporean, the plot tugs at everyone heartstring (i.e. adorable children in the system that everyone is familiar with), relatively smooth delivery and common jokes/slang, cleverly put together into a movie. So what on earth am i complaining about? Perhaps i am just too demanding in my taste for movies. It is an adequate (perhaps even clever) piece of social commentary. But alas, not much of a movie for me personally. Still, i had an enjoyable enough evening and i certainly did not mind spending that 6.50 on the movie ticket.

Watched Waterboys with snow, babes and alan today.
A pretty funny jap movies and i must say their sychronize swimming routine was much more fun than those we used to have to do in secondary school.
Looking at them practicing all those moves had a sense of familiarity but darn, they looked like they are having so much fun than we did last time.

SO just bought a pricey DV cam a while ago. It took him a long long while to finally decide to buy it after weighing all the pros and cos of individual models, the prices, his financial statues and going down to mustafa on numerous occasions just to look at the different models avaliable. And of cos, when he finally decided to fork out the money to buy it, there were some regrets as to whether he spent too much and perhaps should have made do with a cheaper but less "powerful" tool. You could almost hear his brain creaking trying to convince himself that it was all worth it. It is funny looking at him agonizing over it and the word COMMITTMENT becomes almost palpable. After all, if when you spend so much money buying a DV cam, you darn well better commit yourself to make something out from it. And there would be no more excuses of not making films because he doesn't have the right equipment. Guess, there is no way out and i will be looking forward to his new shorts soon. :)

Of cos, on a side note, it would almost be a riot to watch how he deals with committment in the other sense, golden arches and whatnots later on in life after witnessing his intricate thought processes in this instance.

And no dear, it is NOT a hint. :)

One of the recent pix of Ruski that i liked...

Ruski's New Look

Wonders of trick photography.
See how they make Ruski look so thin!

A strange and unnerving poem which is interestingly familiar.

Ultimately we can all be reduced to a mere statistic.

A sudden remembrance of a poem:

The Unknown Citizen

(To JS/07/M/378
This Marble Monument
Is Erected by the State)

He was found by the Bureau of Statistics to be
One against whom there was no official complaint,
And all the reports on his conduct agree
That, in the moden sense of an old-fashioned word, he
was a saint,
For in everything he did he served the Greater
Community.
Except for the War till the day he retired
He worked in a factory and never got fired,
But satisfied his employers, Fudge Motors Inc.
Yet he wasn't a scab or odd in his views,
For his Union reports that he paid his dues,
(Our report on his Union shows it was sound)
And our Social Psychology workers found
That he was popular with his mates and liked a drink.
The Press are convinced that he bought a paper every day
And that his reactions to advertisements were normal in
every way.
Policies taken out in his name prove that he was fully
insured,
And his Health-card shows he was once in hospital but left
it cured.
Both Producers Research and High-Grade Living declare
He was fully sensible to the advantages of the Instalment
Plan
And had everything necessary to the Modern Man,
A phonograph, a radio, a car and a frigidaire.
Our researchers into Public Opinion are content
That he held the proper opinions for the time of the year,
When there was peace, he was for peace; when there was
war, he went.
He was married and added five children to the
population,
Which our Eugenist says was the right number for a parent
of his generation,
And our teachers report that he never interfered with their
education.
Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd:
Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard.

By W. H. Auden

Watched A Beautiful Mind today.
Jennifier Connelly was beautiful.
Can't say the same for Russell Crowe.
Like SO said, "even when she was suppose to be so sad and anxious, she looked so sexy"

Have an urge to find out more on John Nash now.
What an intriging life and experience.

Today got some tickets for the filmfest.

1)HK animation
2)seafood
3)little otik
4)japanese devils
5)annecy animation festival
6)hotel

Wanted to buy somemore. But wallet hurts already.

Trying to call up london about an overdraft (long story)
but got bounce to and fro.
think they lost my account somewhere.
It is sort of bizzare actually.
After all, its only 10pounds.
Even the people in the bank thought i was crazy trying to pay it.

Oh nevermind.

I told a friend a while ago that i only buy books that i have read before and liked.
Because, i will only keep books that have some "re-reading" value.
Hence, you will seldom see me buying new book off the shelf unless it comes with strong recommandations.
In the meantime, i will check things out in the library or borrow from friends.
Or read them in the bookstore.
If i liked it, i will buy it.
Guess i am a re-read-buyer sorta person.

Bought two Asterix and Obelix compilation comix for my own birthday present.
A little frivolous, but then its what i want and its what i like.
Actually i have finished reading all these comics before. Long long time ago.
I guess it is with a sense of nostalgia that i bought them since i had always wanted to keep them when i was young but could never afford to. Now that i am working, i realized that i am spending more and more money buying things that i had wanted before in my youth which i did not have a chance to have. These things are mainly books, since those are things that i ever really wanted to have in the first place. So it is not surprising that i am mainly buying children books that i had read time and time before.

Few books on my to buy list:

Classic Alice in wonderland with the original illustrations
Dr seuss collection
The tales of Narnia
Some books from Enid Blyton like Wishing chair and the Faraway tree
Wind in the willows
All the books from Shel Silverstein
etc

It looks like i am starting a children's library but then these are friends that grew up with me when i was really young so i would like to have them all nicely on my shelves finally i guess. Sort of a fulfilment of a childhood dream.

Looking around for interesting films from film fest to catch.
Probably try to catch some anime.

Thanks to gpa, kev and babes for the nice getaway to JB.
(yes gpa, thats wot i got from you)
A nice 5 stars pan pac hotel where babes and me got to order in room service and basically just relaxed for two days.
So we did nothing but eat and sleep and basically chilled out.
It was nice to sit around and do nothing but i figured not everyone liked that.
I do though.
Anyway, we ended the whole thing with a seafood dinner with SO, exo and akane who joined us the next day.
Ahhh... even though it wasn't exactly bintan, but hey, this is the first time i get to order in room service.
So thank you all. *beams*

Been trying to plan a trip in my head to spain.
Just a trip by myself.
Right now i have to consider the timing, the finances and holiday work schedule.
I wish i could just drop and go.
But i guess that is not reality.
Somehow, i hope the more i plan, the closer i am at materializing it.
Time! I need some time!

Nephews enjoyed Jimmy Neutron.
I was too busy trying to answer their rapid questions to really enjoy to show though.

Funny things my nephew said:
him:"How come this one (my gorillaz cd) have asiaworks tv (i think he meant MTVasia awards) logo? who is this?"
me: "its called gorillaz"
him:"you mean the one in the zoo can sing also?"

I like being around my nephews. They can make me laugh without even trying. Somehow everything seems less complicated around them. Every little observations they make, every remarks, makes the reality i shared with them much more interesting and light-hearted.

I held their hands, thinking to protect them, but they ended leading me to places i have never seen.

A short rhyme, dedicated to an old buddie:

Dimsum.
Yum.

It's my nephew's seventh birthday today and his parents invited his friends/relatives to pasir ris park for a picnic. It was very windy but the weather was wonderful, with clear blue skies and sunshine. There was lots of food and party things but i was too lethagic to do much. Spent most of my time lying on the poncho staring at the palm leaves and enjoyed the breeze while pretending i am relaxing at a resort somewhere. Pasir ris park was quite nice. There was lotsa families there with pitched tents and bbqs. We rented some bikes and cycled around, looking at the mangrove swamp and the different wildlife such as kingfishers. I haven't bought a present for my nephew yet. At first i was thinking of taking him and the rest of his cousins to disney on ice. But in the end they asked to watch Jimmy neutron instead. As one kid said "disney is boring". So Jimmy it is. I shall be looking at the tickets tomorrow and trying to gather the little ones off for a movie outing.

My cat does a belly flop
everytime i speak to it "firmly".

Watch Ice Age last night.
Quite funny.
Especially Scrat.
And that was the fastest talking-moving sloth i have ever seen.
Must have evolved a great deal since then.
I think my nephews and nieces will enjoy it.

Thank you babes for the lovely pasta dinner.
You really shouldn't have fought with me over it though you know?
And I thought it would have been nice if i bought you dinner to cheer you up.

Yesterday was a good day.
Collegues got me a cake for belated bday.
Some kids from my social and communication group asked if i was better from my illness.
They noticed that i was gone and knew that i was sick.
It felt good becos' alot of our kids are so unaware of others.
Had a treat of sushi dinner from serene, my speech therapist collegue who joined RC the same day as me, except she is in MDSS and i am in BSS.
We are pretty good friends, attending dance class together till she hurt her back recently.
Then we went for drinks at borders and talked about stuff.
SO turned up and the conversation turned to teaching in special ed schools and mainstream schools.
SO told us about a kid from his school that sounded quite suspiciously to fit into the spectrum.
Bugging him to talk to the form teacher to try get some help, perhaps get the educational psych from MOE on the case.
Hate to see kids just labelled as discipline case when they are obviously not being helped.
Seems like the kid do okie for school but just have a habit of walking round and round the school.
He was punished and yet have no idea why he was being punished.
It sounded like most have given up on him.
Sad.
But i guess SO is right to say that sometimes it is difficult for people to do anything.
It is just so infuriating.
Went to watch The Shipping News later.
Didn't think In the Bedroom kinda heavy drama is suitable for two tired people at 9.45pm after a hard day's work.
Turns out okie.
Though Kevin Spacey was forgetable in the role.
The little girl was pretty good though.

Back to work after all that MCs.
Feeling extremely tired and nose still blocked.
But at last had some time to catch up on my work
and finished making a book for tomorrow's TEACCH coregroup meeting.
Going to try out the book on my ET child tomorrow morning to see how it works out.

Met up with snow, dave, kev and babes on sunday for tea.
The food was so-so but company was great.
Its nice to catch up with friends and share gossips.
Thanks for tea! *smiles*

I would like to have Amelie's and Spirited away vcd.
Love the soundtrack and whimsical-ness (?) of Amelie.
Am a sucker for fairytales.

Bandit was rather good.
The final heist was brilliant.

Last night i expounded a whole warped theory about attractiveness, intrinsic and extraneous variables on decision making for relationships on a darwinian plane and something about standard measurements.

I thought i was on to something.
Pity, i've forgotten much of what was said after i took my medication and fell asleep.

A friend asked if i am ever worried that i might just fucked up my life.

Oh ya. Constantly.
I tried, consciously and unconsciouly, to remain a safe little human statistic amidst this whirlpool
just so i may minimize, to put it simply, "fucking up my life".
But there are days when some anti-establishment little demon will turn around and ask
"Just what the heck are you afraid of?"
Well, sir, i am afraid i will screw up my life, my future, my possibility of having security, disappointing my parents and all that the rest of society aspired for me.
Caught between preserving my what little balance i have found and throwing myself to free-fall in body and mind,
i think i will just hang here a while and enjoy the tension of indecision.

Alegria was mavellous.
My jaws were strained cos' they spent most of the evening hanging down.

Thanks for the birthday present.
x

declog?
unclog?
like a drain? pipe?

Basically i wish for the same thing year after year on my birthday.
Not that it ever came true.
But still, i better not jinx it by revealing it to everyone else.
So here it goes again...

On a frivolous note, i do wish that my nose will declog soon.

Thanks to all that remembered...
*sniff* *sniff*

26 and counting.
Oh to be 20 again.

My nose is still extremely congested.
So two more days of MC which means the total work day i had this week is: 1.
Its crazy to be sick for so long.
It also means i will miss the CNY lunch for staff tomorrow.
And the internal/external transfer meeting which is always interesting.
But by hook or by crook i am dragging myself to watch alegria tomorrow.
Even if i have to go there wearing a paperbag with two cut out holes for eyes.

Man! That's some cool submarine that Captain Nemo have.

I wonder if its the new year... but it seems that i am falling ill quite frequently these days.

Doctor say that i have bronchitis.
He also mildly rebuked me for not seeing the doc during the weekend when my symptoms started.
Well, as if i can tell a difference between a take-two-panadol-flu and bronchitis.
Actually i still cant tell the difference. Perhaps its a more serious form of viral flu?
In any case, the medication to open up my windpipe makes my hand tremour slightly.
Maybe that's why i am making so many typo mistakes today.

Realization no. 36:

I really shouldn't eat rich chocolate cake when i am having a sore throat.

Having a sore throat and been running a fever on and off the last two nights.
Parents leaving in the morning.
Suddenly i wish at least mom would stay behind and take care of me for a while.
To quote my cousin: "Just pretend like it is london."
Duh.

Awfully Chocolate's Chocolate cake taste fabulous.
It is alot like Lana's Chocolate cake but with more of the chocolate fudging thing.
YUM.
Thanks kids. :D

I had a funny phone call today which made me laugh.
My nieces and nephews want to buy me a cake.
The only problem is that they don't know how to go since they are only 3yrs to 7yrs old.
Hence, i am suppose to go buy one for myself and collect money from them later.

Ah kids.

Realization no. 35:

Sometimes i am not sure i know how to be a friend.

20:02 20.02.2002 came and gone.
Nothing special happened at that moment.

"every minute, second is special, since each moment only exist once."

My cat must be one year old by now.
I found him outside my house last April while he was still a kitten.
He was so energetic then.
He has become more sedated.
He seldom chew on my things now or even attempt to "sneak attack".
In fact he is becoming more and more like the big fat lazy cat that i have always wanted.
He also grew more affectionate and will always cuddle up to me, waiting for me to pat him when i come home, before running off to do his own thing.
My cat likes to watch me whenever i am at the sink brushing my teeth.
He also likes to drink straight from the tap and sleep in the sink during a hot day, as it is the coolest surface around.
Sometimes we can have a conversation and he will answer to what i am saying with a "meow".
He became less destructive in general but no less curious.
He is still helping me to kill off small cockroaches but is still afraid of the crows outside.
He will sleep all afternoon if i let him but this is also the best time for me to rub his tummy.
Everyday i wake up and he will be right beside me.
On weekends, he will nudge me up and give me little nibbles because he wants his breakfast.
But these days, he let me sleep in much later and is usually just contented to paw my face gently.

I guess what i really want to say is, i realized i would climb the dumb roof for him again any day.

Like i was saying, sometimes i do things without thinking first.
I do that with words sometimes too.

The irony of it all is, my house doesn't have any water tanks.

I did a stupid thing tonight and climbed up the roof of a 3 storey house.

My cat slipped out of my room and out my balcony climbing up the steep (more than 45degrees) roof and disappeared.
I was frantic looking for it and then heard it meowing from the far side of the house (over the roof apparently).
I was so worried thinking it could be stuck somewhere near the watertank.
And before i would think twice, i climbed up the room with my back against the roof, inching my way up the roof tiles slowly on my butt and pushing myself up with my bare feet.
It was only halfway up when i noticed how high up i am and how strong the wind was.
No one could possibly have seen me going up since it was already late. The skies look dark and cloudy.
In fact it looked like it was going to rain pretty soon. And when i looked down, it was almost a sharp drop downwards.
If i didn't lean back and push against the tiles with my feet, i could have drop straight onto my balcony (if i am lucky) or bounce off the house althogether.
Suddenly i am grateful that my house is covered in those red rough ceramic tiles than those smooth ones.
For a moment i couldnt decide to inch down or up to the roof top edge where the antennas were.
Just at that moment, i heard my cat meowing behind me.
Looking alittle stunned as well. And he started to inch his way down towards my balcony one paw by one paw.
Stopping from time to time to look and wait for me as i followed him.
I think he must have heard me meowing to him as i was edging my way up and he came answering the call.
It took me 15minutes to get up and another 15 to get down.
I was shaking by the time i got down safely on two feet on my balcony.
The rest of me turned into jelly.
I think ruski was alil shaken as well since he let me hug him without struggling and was meowing quite piteously.

I still can't believe i did that.
It was a stupid thing to do and i could have fallen off.
Lucky for me, all i got was jelly legs and sore feet.
But i am glad that in any case ruski is safe.

hmm gold90.5fm plays pretty nice old jazz stuff.
thank god i don't have to suffer another day of love songs from class95.

my cat is looking at me expectantly
i wonder what does he want

burgers and fries
on our valentines

i am glad it was with you.

reunion dinner this year was not bad. we have the usual dishes that mom likes to cook on such occasions. pig intesting soup, abalone, chicken, duck etc.
Then everyone sit around talking about family stuff before waiting for midnight when there would be a round of angbao exchanges.
I would say that my loot this year wasn't too bad. But considering i gave a big angbao to my parents and brothers meant basically i still made a "loss".
Even though i am not married yet, i guess it is expect of one who has started to work to give parents angbaos as some token of appreciation. That said, younger siblings should also get one as some sort of encouragement or seen as showing a good example to the young. But i think it makes everyone happy in the end. And that's what matters. Guess the youngest bro is the luckiest this year with everyone else giving him angbao since he is still schooling. *chuckles*

Happy horsey new year everyone!

Strange.
How come icq add user cannot work?
Hmm. Abit tedious transfer files from one laptop to the other.
Ah. And setting up the system to one that i comfy with takes time.
But i guess it is worth it. :D

Tomorrow is chinese new year's eve already.
So fast.
But i doubt it will be very much festive around my house since we don't have much relatives to go visiting or will come visiting.
Well, at least we will have a short holiday from work.
Didn't buy any new year clothes.
Wonder what to wear on the 1st day.
Guess it doesnt matter since i am not going to go anywhere.
Heh heh.

My dad exchanged his new sony vaio laptop with my 4yr old ancient toshiba 330cdt.
Joy oh Joy!
hehehe hurrah for dad.
Now busy trying to transfer files from one laptop to another.
What a nice new year present.
Don't have angbao also nevermind already. *chuckles*

Helped with making the pineapple tarts.
Doesnt taste half bad but the pastry is alil crumbly.

Alegria on my birthday.
Thank you.
xx

Realization no 34:

It is entirely possible to love someone a little more after fighting with them.

Been sick for a while.
Everyone else is taking a turn at having MCs down in school.
Everyone from the teachers to the kids to the parents.
3 kids passed away in the last week and a half.
Things can get pretty depressing sometimes.

So much things to prepare all of a sudden.
Need to go get some of those chinese new year decorations like ying liu and mandarin oranges.
Also must get all the ingredients for making pineapple tarts such as butter and pineapple.
I have not bought any new year clothes yet as well.
And i have about 6 days more to do all that.
Boy, am i glad my mom is around.

So fast, another chinese new year.
Come to think of it, my brother will be 24 this year since he is a "horse".
That would make me... *gasp* way pass quarter of a century.
I must be really tired.
I am already feeling old.

Parents are finally back.
Good and bad for me.
Good that there are more people in this big house (hence more ren qi) and of cos, all the goodies my mom will prepare.
Bad is that, inevitably, my mom will somehow get on my case.
Sigh... Ah, parents will be parents.